i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
