You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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