ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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