If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
