Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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