why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
