Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
