i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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