I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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