I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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