I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
