I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
