I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
