It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
