It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
