I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
