Farmville is her only friend.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
