i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
