In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
