she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
