i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
