She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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