UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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