apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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