I hate your face
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry about my life...
I'm too high and old for this...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
