Christians are straight up FREAKS
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
