I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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