using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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