Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
