This is not my ceiling
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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