I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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