So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
