I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
