One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
