I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
lol hangovers are for mortals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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