okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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