I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
