Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
