Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
