No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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