just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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