evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
