Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
