Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
