Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
