super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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