Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
