A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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