Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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