just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I want to have your abortion
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
