I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
