We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize