respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
