What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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