And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
