so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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