I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
