R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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