how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
