I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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