it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
