dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
