I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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