Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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