either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
