i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
