i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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