I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize