im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
